No Zytrons In Range

I try to make it a practice to do some basic research about a company every time I get an email from a recruiter. This time, I lucked into getting a letter from a company I already know a lot about.

The recruiter’s name is anonymized, but not the company he belongs to (as that would defeat the point). Also I busted the job placement URL, so don’t try to follow it. The large text size and seemingly-random application of bold is original, as are the lists that start with question marks.

I received your resume from the Web It looks like you would be interested in hearing more about opportunity an that we are recruiting for .

If you are interested in this opportunity, please apply online at our career site by req number. Your resume will be on my desk top for immediate consideration.

I’ve included job description for your consideration below. The position is located in Poulsbo, WA.

Please apply directly to the requisition. We cannot take resumes directly due to OFCCP requirements, except through our web site.

If this contact is in error or you wish to be removed from our data base, please use the unsubscribe button close to the signature. I apologize if this is the case.

Regards,

Alan Smithee

The Integrated Intelligence Solutions (I2S) Operation of SAIC – Operations, Intelligence and Security Business Unit(Maritime Solutions Division) has an opening for a Senior Software Developer to participate in technical development tasks and the development of software and hardware architectures for our customers.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES:
Successful candidate will be able to:
?Perform object oriented software development as a technical lead of a team in a structured agile process environment (Feature Driven Development).
?Organize, participate, and positively contribute in technical team meetings.
?Mentor junior software developers by providing guidance in technical execution.
?Assist in the development of software architectures with management, peers, and customers.
?Provide technical suggestions to management for software product and process improvements.
?Interface with customers to document requirements and provide status.
?Generate test plans and perform detailed software unit testing using established tools and processes (JUnit, CppUnit).
?Report directly to software development manager on a regular basis.
?Perform Object Oriented Analysis and Design.
?Document Software Designs using Unified Modeling Language (Sparx Enterprise Architect).
?Administer server software (Subversion, MS SQL Server, Internet Information Server, Flash Media Server).
?Manage software configuration control and deployment.
?Generate marketing and technical documentation (MS Office).

REQUIRED QUALIFICATIONS:
Experience in:
?Feature Driven Development Process, MS Project.
?Object Oriented Analysis and Design, Unified Modeling Language, Sparx Enterprise Architect.
?MS Windows, Visual Studio, Linux, Eclipse, .Net, C++, C#, Java, ASP.Net, GSoap, SQL, Flash, XML, VirtualBox.
?JUnit, CppUnit.
?Subversion, MS SQL Server, Internet Information Server, Flash Media Server.
?MS Office.

Required Education/Experience:
Bachelors Degree and eight years related technical experience.

SAIC is a FORTUNE 500® scientific, engineering, and technology applications company that uses its deep domain knowledge to solve problems of vital importance to the nation and the world, in national security, energy and the environment, critical infrastructure, and health. For more information, visit www.saic.com. SAIC: From Science to Solutions®

SAIC offers a competitive salary and benefits package. For Immediate consideration, please apply on-line at .www.saic.com, through requisition number 167512. SAIC is an Affirmative Action Employer who values cultural diversity in the workplace. EOE, M/F/D/V”

To apply to the Poulsbo ,WA location:Candidates may apply directly to this job posting on SAIC.com through: https://cp-its-rmprd.saic.com/MAIN/careerportal/Job_Profile.cfm?szUniqueCareerPortalID=224335&szOrderID=43754512.

My reply:

Alan,

Isn’t SAIC the company that bilks the government out of millions of dollars by charging through the nose for incompetent consultants who couldn’t finish a project if their life depended on it? Like New York’s CityTime system, or the FBI’s Virtual Case File?

http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=10/03/27/1228219
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_Case_File

Why would I, or anybody, want to work for a company run by charlatans and staffed by incompetents? I’d be too busy wiping the drool off my co-workers face, or explaining socks to them (once again!), to get any actual work done. And on the rare chance the project was successful, management would bin it anyway so they could steal another few million from the taxpayers.

No. Not interested.

I’m sure SAIC is a great company to work with, if you’re not saddled by those little things like “ethics” or “pride.” Please visit the above two links, these guys really are scumbags and the public deserves to know.

Special added bonus: I just found out that the security certificate used on their job portal is invalid:

cp-its-rmprd.saic.com uses an invalid security certificate.

The certificate is not trusted because the issuer certificate is unknown.

(Error code: sec_error_unknown_issuer)

Rock on, Firefox. Rock on.

Quick post this time. An email I sent to the Contact Us link at a company called TownNews.com. I just thought I’d echo it here, since I think the Internet-at-large deserves to know what happens after you do business with these guys.

I was attempting to read a movie review from 2004 using this link:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/life_of_david_gale/articles/1235143/_alan_parker_lures_you_into_the_theater_but_then_you_sit_down_and_all_he_has_waiting_for_you_is_a_whoopee_cushion
only to find a splash page saying that “The Star Democrat is no longer a website affiliate of the Zwire product.”

Following the link on that page to TownNews.com, the first thing that greets me is your motto:

“Our mission: To help newspapers thrive in an online world.”

Does your company feel the best way to implement that mission is to completely break all links to the Star Democrat’s content?

Breaking links is a sin. Don’t do it.

And if you’re a content creator, and you’re about to sign up for TownNews.com… make sure you put something in your contract to prevent them from totally screwing up your Google ranking and advertising revenue after you stop using… whatever service they provide.

(BTW, visit the real Star Democrat site to give these guys some ad impressions that TownNews.com is stealing from them.)

Inspired by this article in The Guardian, I present:

I won’t gush on and on about what a genius, mind-bending, ahead-of-its-time series Patrick McGoohan’s “The Prisoner” was. It’s available on the web, please watch it if you haven’t before, it’s truly amazing and deserves your attention.

Patrick McGoohan’s death is a tremendous loss. Be seeing you, Number Six.