No Zytrons In Range

When I was a kid, our family lived in a house that was right next to an electric fence. Since you’ve likely never lived next to an electric fence in the world before cable, let me just explain: it completely destroys your TV reception. So your choices are either to order cable, or give up on TV altogether. Obviously no red-blooded American would give up on TV, so our family was one of the absolute first to get cable.

Back when Nickelodeon was brand-new, they didn’t have a lot of their own programming, so they’d fill most of their airtime with foreign cartoons that were completely unlike anything on American TV:

• The World of David the Gnome which looks like a cute happy kiddy show, but actually has a decent amount of action and (kid-friendly) violence (against trolls) and ends with the main characters dying. Seriously.
• The Mysterious Cities of Gold, a French-Japanese co-production, which had a 39-episode plot arc and ended up with strange mutants trying to take over the world with a flying Olmec statue head, defeated only by a golden, solar-powered, condor-shaped airplane much footage of which is in this badass techno music video. Seriously these cartoons rocked. This series is available on Netflix.
• Spartakus and the Sun Beneath the Sea

Spartakus was by far my favorite, and it’s really hard to explain, because the show is so surprisingly complex. It’s a French cartoon. The premise is, basically, that while two kids are out camping with their family, they paddle their canoe into a cave and fall into a fantasy world that lives beneath the Earth’s crust. That world consists of “stratas” (basically, huge floating continents), and the center-most strata has the titular “sun beneath the sea” (called Tehra, artificially created by the Arkadians eons ago). The Tehra is dying, and nobody knows why, so in violation of the law some Arkadian children enter the archives to research the problem, which is where they find Tehrig, and Bic and Bac.

Tehrig had a huge influence on me as a kid. He’s basically a giant trilobite-shaped sentient hovercraft/computer, which the cast uses to travel between the strata. He looks like this:

(He also has dozens of little helper robots called Triggies:

If you’ve seen Farscape, now you know where they got the idea for the DRDs. And possibly Moya as well. But I digress.)

I won’t spend the rest of this post gushing over the cartoon, which frankly was poorly-animated and poorly-dubbed. But for a little kid with very little exposure to sci-fi concepts, this thing was mind-blowing.

But pangolins, yes. So the comic relief characters are a pair of immortal identical twin creatures who can start fires by rubbing their noses together named Bic and Bac. It sounds stupid, but they’re awesome. They also have their own little music video in the series, although unfortunately it’s always cut-off in the English dub:

(Link in case embedding breaks.)

If you read the show description or fan sites, you’ll soon learn that Bic and Bac are described as pangolins. What the hell is a pangolin? This is a pangolin:

Pangolins are awesome. They’re basically anteaters, covered in scales, and when in danger they can roll into a ball. (Which Bic and Bac did as well, by the way.) According to their Wikipedia page, someone once made a coat of armor out of pangolin scales, which strikes me as insane. They’re also somewhat endangered, because crazy Chinese people think you can use pangolin scales to reduce swelling.

So, yeah… that’s pretty much all there is too it. I was nostalgia-ing out one day, and came across a couple fan sites for this show I watched as a tiny tot. I read the description of the characters, and came across the pangolin. A basass-looking animal with a goofy-name.

So I just got a new MacBook Air. To lay the foundation here, I was a long-time Apple user up until version 10.4 (I think…) at which point the annoyance at the direction Apple was taking things, combined with my super-expensive PPC hardware being quickly made obsolete by the Intel switch, I bought a Windows laptop, put my PPC box in the closet and went to Windows full-time. Recently, I got a hold of a decent discount on Apple hardware at the same time I was looking at a new laptop, and since Apple stuff can run Windows now (and, to be fair, their hardware *is* really damned nice), I figured there’s little to lose.
I’m setting up it, and I go through the motions of putting in my name, account name, email and password for Apple support, etc. It finishes, boots into the OS and I’m relieved to see they didn’t load up the SSD with stupid crap like Garageband or whatever they’re shilling now. But after rebooting it the first time, I realized that the thing didn’t ask my password! It just booted right into my account.

WTF 1: OS X defaults to “auto-login”

I go to the Control Panel to find and change this setting. Foolishly believing it to be in Security, I notice that there’s a checkbox for asking a password when the computer wakes from sleep/screensaver– and it’s off. This makes sense, since auto-login is on. So I check the box, set the timer to 5 seconds (it’s kind of nice that you can select the ‘lax time’ before it asks you), and try rebooting again… still no login screen. Now, however, when the laptop goes into sleep mode, it *does* ask me to supply a password to wake it back up.

In this crazy configuration, if a goon steals my MacBook he can do whatever he wants to my user account– as long as he never lets it go into sleep mode! But thankfully if he accidentally lets it go into sleep mode, all he has to do is reboot it and he has full access again. It makes… no sense at all, why is this configuration even possible?

WTF 2: Turning on “ask password on wake” doesn’t also turn off “auto-login”

So I go into the Security control panel again and start clicking around trying to figure out how the blazes to turn off “auto-login”. The third tab is Firewall, which defaults to… off! I talked to my Mac-loving friend (who actually works for Apple) and he told me that it’s off by default because it can “cause issues.” That’s possibly the weakest excuse I’ve ever heard.

WTF 3: OS X ships with the firewall off by default

My friend also pointed me to the correct place to turn off “auto-login”, it’s actually in the Accounts control panel.

And now the petty usability WTF:

WTF 4: The bright arrow indicator that an app is running is now a nearly-invisible tiny glint of blue

That wasted about 5 minutes of my time trying to figure out why the holy crap I couldn’t remove Safari from the taskbar. You can’t remove applications from the taskbar while they’re running, but there’s no indication of that when you’re dragging the icon– the little cloud icon still appears (and isn’t X-ed out or anything), and there’s nothing to indicate *why* you can’t remove the item. I’m pretty sure this was a problem in 10.4 also, but at least 10.4 made it blatantly obvious which applications were running and which were just pinned. One of the reasons I left OS X is because the taskbar (“Dock” to use Apple-speak) was so badly-designed and unusuable… good to see that hasn’t changed.

(Also posted at TheDailyWTF.)

My parents dropped off some books I had as a kid, including the Usborne Guide to Audio and Radio (ISBN 0-86020-641-6). Published in 1982, it’s an education book teaching kids how modern technologies like radio and cassette tapes work.

Anyway, I thought these two pages were interesting:

(Pre-usual, click image for biggification.)

I’d like to make fun of it, but actually their predictions aren’t far off, even the satellite radio/TV and the fiber-to-the-home. (Although I can’t get fiber to my house, screw you Verizon, other people can so I guess it still counts.) I think I’ve even seen a wristwatch with a radio in it, although I’m not sure.

The self-tuning radio one is just odd… I’m pretty sure that radios in 1982 could “re-call” stations, considering the radio in my dad’s truck from 1965 could.

The CD prediction is cheating, since CDs were invented several years before this book was authored.

Just something I thought of when reading about Apple’s App Store rejections.

(Click for enlargification)

I try to make it a practice to do some basic research about a company every time I get an email from a recruiter. This time, I lucked into getting a letter from a company I already know a lot about.

The recruiter’s name is anonymized, but not the company he belongs to (as that would defeat the point). Also I busted the job placement URL, so don’t try to follow it. The large text size and seemingly-random application of bold is original, as are the lists that start with question marks.

I received your resume from the Web It looks like you would be interested in hearing more about opportunity an that we are recruiting for .

If you are interested in this opportunity, please apply online at our career site by req number. Your resume will be on my desk top for immediate consideration.

I’ve included job description for your consideration below. The position is located in Poulsbo, WA.

Please apply directly to the requisition. We cannot take resumes directly due to OFCCP requirements, except through our web site.

If this contact is in error or you wish to be removed from our data base, please use the unsubscribe button close to the signature. I apologize if this is the case.

Regards,

Alan Smithee

The Integrated Intelligence Solutions (I2S) Operation of SAIC – Operations, Intelligence and Security Business Unit(Maritime Solutions Division) has an opening for a Senior Software Developer to participate in technical development tasks and the development of software and hardware architectures for our customers.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES:
Successful candidate will be able to:
?Perform object oriented software development as a technical lead of a team in a structured agile process environment (Feature Driven Development).
?Organize, participate, and positively contribute in technical team meetings.
?Mentor junior software developers by providing guidance in technical execution.
?Assist in the development of software architectures with management, peers, and customers.
?Provide technical suggestions to management for software product and process improvements.
?Interface with customers to document requirements and provide status.
?Generate test plans and perform detailed software unit testing using established tools and processes (JUnit, CppUnit).
?Report directly to software development manager on a regular basis.
?Perform Object Oriented Analysis and Design.
?Document Software Designs using Unified Modeling Language (Sparx Enterprise Architect).
?Administer server software (Subversion, MS SQL Server, Internet Information Server, Flash Media Server).
?Manage software configuration control and deployment.
?Generate marketing and technical documentation (MS Office).

REQUIRED QUALIFICATIONS:
Experience in:
?Feature Driven Development Process, MS Project.
?Object Oriented Analysis and Design, Unified Modeling Language, Sparx Enterprise Architect.
?MS Windows, Visual Studio, Linux, Eclipse, .Net, C++, C#, Java, ASP.Net, GSoap, SQL, Flash, XML, VirtualBox.
?JUnit, CppUnit.
?Subversion, MS SQL Server, Internet Information Server, Flash Media Server.
?MS Office.

Required Education/Experience:
Bachelors Degree and eight years related technical experience.

SAIC is a FORTUNE 500® scientific, engineering, and technology applications company that uses its deep domain knowledge to solve problems of vital importance to the nation and the world, in national security, energy and the environment, critical infrastructure, and health. For more information, visit www.saic.com. SAIC: From Science to Solutions®

SAIC offers a competitive salary and benefits package. For Immediate consideration, please apply on-line at .www.saic.com, through requisition number 167512. SAIC is an Affirmative Action Employer who values cultural diversity in the workplace. EOE, M/F/D/V”

To apply to the Poulsbo ,WA location:Candidates may apply directly to this job posting on SAIC.com through: https://cp-its-rmprd.saic.com/MAIN/careerportal/Job_Profile.cfm?szUniqueCareerPortalID=224335&szOrderID=43754512.

My reply:

Alan,

Isn’t SAIC the company that bilks the government out of millions of dollars by charging through the nose for incompetent consultants who couldn’t finish a project if their life depended on it? Like New York’s CityTime system, or the FBI’s Virtual Case File?

http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=10/03/27/1228219
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_Case_File

Why would I, or anybody, want to work for a company run by charlatans and staffed by incompetents? I’d be too busy wiping the drool off my co-workers face, or explaining socks to them (once again!), to get any actual work done. And on the rare chance the project was successful, management would bin it anyway so they could steal another few million from the taxpayers.

No. Not interested.

I’m sure SAIC is a great company to work with, if you’re not saddled by those little things like “ethics” or “pride.” Please visit the above two links, these guys really are scumbags and the public deserves to know.

Special added bonus: I just found out that the security certificate used on their job portal is invalid:

cp-its-rmprd.saic.com uses an invalid security certificate.

The certificate is not trusted because the issuer certificate is unknown.

(Error code: sec_error_unknown_issuer)

Rock on, Firefox. Rock on.

Quick post this time. An email I sent to the Contact Us link at a company called TownNews.com. I just thought I’d echo it here, since I think the Internet-at-large deserves to know what happens after you do business with these guys.

I was attempting to read a movie review from 2004 using this link:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/life_of_david_gale/articles/1235143/_alan_parker_lures_you_into_the_theater_but_then_you_sit_down_and_all_he_has_waiting_for_you_is_a_whoopee_cushion
only to find a splash page saying that “The Star Democrat is no longer a website affiliate of the Zwire product.”

Following the link on that page to TownNews.com, the first thing that greets me is your motto:

“Our mission: To help newspapers thrive in an online world.”

Does your company feel the best way to implement that mission is to completely break all links to the Star Democrat’s content?

Breaking links is a sin. Don’t do it.

And if you’re a content creator, and you’re about to sign up for TownNews.com… make sure you put something in your contract to prevent them from totally screwing up your Google ranking and advertising revenue after you stop using… whatever service they provide.

(BTW, visit the real Star Democrat site to give these guys some ad impressions that TownNews.com is stealing from them.)

(Click to see full-sized)

So I just watched the trailer for James Cameron’s Avatar.

View it at IMDB– Oh wait, there’s an annoying long ad you have to view before the trailer. Try viewing it at Apple– Oh wait it requires QuickTime. Well, let’s try viewing it at YouTube– Hey look, it just starts playing without any bullshit. Attention Internet company big-wigs: this is why people like Google!

So anyway, according to the trailer, a bunch of space marines with headless robots land on this planet. They volunteer one of their guys to transfer his brain into the body of one of the natives, who are blue elf creatures named the “Na’vi” which is obviously a Native American analogue. They have little tails. He’s released to live among the blue elf dudes, possibly to spy on them, and over a period of time he comes to appreciate their culture more than his own. He also meets some blue elf chick with a bow. When the space marines start to attack the blue elfs, he joins the elf side and leads them in battle with the marines.

So it’s Dances with Wolves.

Separated at birth?

Oh, but also the blue elfs train giant cats and ride dragons, apparently. That would be cool, if they didn’t look like blue elfs.

One of my buddies brought up that having the aliens in your movie be, basically, Native American elfs is pretty goddamned uncreative. Especially since this movie has a budget of over $300 million. Obviously none of that money went into hiring somebody who can come up with a creative and original alien race– hell the guys working for Lucas came up with like a dozen more creative and original alien races in the cantina scene alone! Seriously.

My original theory was that, due to the dragon riding and giant cat taming, the aliens in this movie were just way to obviously bad ass compared to the space marines, and so the space marines lost any sense of threat. So Cameron redesigned them to be elfs, and added cute little tails, to offset the bad ass-ness. (Note: this is also probably why he would add headless robots to the marines, so they kick more ass.) Good theory, but probably not true.

My second theory is that someone involved with this movie thought to themselves, “we need the audience to make an emotional connection with the Na’vi… I don’t think people will make a connection to something that doesn’t look or act human.” To that, a brief rebuttal:

Think about it.

Oh, and when we have guys in a movie riding dragons? Please make the dragons bigger than that. It just doesn’t satisfy the “wait a minute, this looks totally wrong” test if you have a human-sized guy riding a dragon with a wingspan of maybe 15 feet. Let’s see some dragons on film that are actually big enough to carry people around, not these wimpy ones.

The following two bulletpoints are really going to shock people who know me:

• I watched G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night
• I thought it was actually an ok movie

So here are some comments.

Rating:

G.I. Joe is rated PG-13 by the lovable, huggable, MPAA. Here’s an short list of things you can show in a PG-13 movie, apparently:

• Decapitation
• Decapitation via head explosion
• Woman getting pierced all the way through her torso, all the way through the tablet PC she was holding by a sword (oh, and the tablet was a Panasonic Toughbook model, so you know it was a forceful blow)
• Man falling through high-voltage lines and being burned to dust

Of course, in all of those scenes, there’s no blood because kids are too stupid to realize violence is happening when there’s no blood, right? Gee, the MPAA totally fucking up a movie rating? Unthinkable!

Product Placement:

I’m not some slick Madison Avenue advertising dude, so maybe I’m way off-base here when I say that I would assume product placement is more effective when the good guys are using the product. Although, I’m sure my new-found knowledge that psychotic brain-washing mad scientist Dr. Mindbender uses Norton Internet Security on his torture computer will influence my purchasing decision next time I need anti-virus.

Cisco gets off easy by having product placement for a technology (holographic tele-presence) that’s used by both the good and bad guys in the movie, although the product is far too useful and creative (and easy-to-use) to actually come out of stodgy Cisco.

Hummer’s use by the bad guys, in a car chase that involves billions of dollars of damage and dozens, if not hundreds, of fatalities– maybe that was an environmental message?

Sci-Fi:

Surprisingly, the sci-fi element of the movie isn’t completely and utterly ludicrous. The tele-presence system mentioned above is a safe prediction for the next twenty years. Some guy already build a prototype of the stealth suit.

There are some problems, though. Nano-bots, really? That’s waaay out-there considering the stuff seen in the rest of the movie. They could have used something more believable, like a portable EMP or Fallout 3-esque mini-nuke. And they never explain why you need a particle accelerator to “weaponize” nano-bots.

Here is the schedule for the 510 route from Seattle to Everett Station. Notice how there’s supposed to be a 510 bus leaving SODO at 4:10, 4:25, and 4:40. I left work a bit early today, completely off the train schedule, so I figured I’d take the short walk to the bus stop at 4th and Cherry and catch the 510 to go home. Even if the freeways were slow, it would still be quicker than waiting 20 minutes for a train to even leave, right?

Wrong.

See, it turns out, that bus schedule is actually a work of fiction. No bus leaves SODO at 4:10. And none leaves at 4:25. They are phantoms, they exist only in the mind.

I arrived at the bus stop at around 4:10, which is plenty of time to catch the 4:10 route (it’s scheduled to arrive at 4th and Cherry at 4:15.) But the bus didn’t show up. Around 4:20, I figured I’d just wait for the 4:25 bus to show up. But it didn’t show up either.

Finally, and at long last, a 510 bus arrived at 4:45, actually on schedule! Amazing. Of course, since the previous two buses had disappeared into the Twilight Zone, it was completely packed. Sardine-packed.

Just to add to the misery, this happens to be a record-breaking heatwave in the Seattle area. Look, we even have a “stagnant air warning“, whatever that is. The poor bus’ air conditioner was trying to keep up, but it was futile.

Then to add insult to injury, when the bus finally arrived at Everett Station around 5:55, it was directly followed by another 510 bus. (Probably the one that was actually scheduled to leave at 4:40. I wager the one I was in was either the half-hour-late one or the 15-minutes-late one.)

Grr.

Anyway, I wrote a complaint.

The sign at this bus stop says the bus is scheduled for 4:15 and another for 4:30. I arrived at the bus stop at 4:10, but did not see a 510 bus until 4:45.

When the bus finally arrived half an hour late, it was completely packed and very uncomfortable to ride in this hot weather.

When it arrived at Everett Station, another, mostly-empty, 510 bus pulled in directly behind it. I can only guess that this bus was the one that was only 15 minutes late, which was probably only a few seconds behind the half-hour late bus.

I completely understand that traffic issues are beyond your control, but this is the second time that this has happened to me in a short period of time. Is the schedule incorrect, has the 4:15 run been canceled with no notice? If so, both the signs at the stop and the website have the wrong schedule.

If buses are going to be a full half-hour late, I would like some notice of that so I can instead take the train.

Thank you.

Trying to be polite so I actually get a response.